Does the long tale-within-a-tale slow the pace too much?
This, the third chapter, marks what Bardelys promises is the final moment of peace and quiet before the Inciting Incident which will turn his young hero’s life upside-down forever. In that regard, we may ask whether this is too long a chapter, and whether too many words have been spoken since Hans got up in the pre-dawn light to follow his Father. At that moment, the final moment in Chapter One, we felt that the tale was quickening, and that in a few paragraphs the Inciting Incident should take place. But even though several weird omens have come, Hans is still safe in his bed at night when Chapter Three begins.
Maybe we could blame Bardelys the other way round: maybe he was too quick to make us feel that he was about to spring the Inciting Incident on Hans when Chapter One closed. It might have been better had he ended Chapter One with Hans bidding his Father good-day. Then opening Chapter Two with Hans sneaking after Father would not have felt as though it were fraught with quite so much an air of incipient change.
In this light, recall that Granny has given Hans two dire warnings about the coming of the Ground Fog, whatever that might mean. Thus we might say that the appearance of the Ground Fog must accompany the Inciting Incident. That remains to be seen.
Remember that often events can be co-ordinated in the structure of a tale loosely. They don’t need to be embodied in one and the same event, although that is best – that is genius. For common talesmen like Bardelys, we can accept that the Inciting Incident (and the other main mile-posts of his tale) might have a few parts, that happen at about the same time. (From what Bardelys has told me, I think that we will see that this is true of his Inciting Incident.)
(For an example of this loose linking of structural mile-posts, consider how the main plot and sub-plots can all reach their climaxes in a series of scenes all linked together. In a work of genius, one scene might bring everything to a head; in commercial screenwriting or novel-making, three or four scenes in a row will bring each thread to its climax.)
Hans and Father play a game of chess, which seems a common way for them to pass an evening. Hans, we note, by an unspecified strategem, wins the game. Does this mean that Hans will be a Trickster-Hero, a hero whose main talent lies in cleverness? He has shown us no evidence that he will be a strong or brave hero, so this seems likely, and it fits in with what we’ve seen already of his ‘coal-biter’ status, and the way he played with words and made his Mother regret asking him for help the first morning.
The meat of this chapter, however, comes next, as Father tells Hans a long tale about an army of ‘East-men’ (Bardelys says these were the ancient Celts who conquered Rome, but that Father would only know them in this sort of distorted memory, handed down and made half-legendary over almost 2,000 years) who brave the Black Forest, and are all destroyed by the ‘wicken-things’ that haunt its inner reaches.
This tale further reinforces the mystery and terrors of the Schwarzwald. Clearly the Black Forest in this tale is an island of Eartherea (or Fairyland), and operates by different rules. Magic rules the Schwarzwald Hans knows, and it is worth a man’s life to dare to brave its depths! Thus we are given some reason to let Hans off the hook for his seeming cowardice (or whatever we might call it – for it comes over the boy somewhat in the nature of a magical spell or curse) in being unable even to cross the Charcoal Burners Road to enter the woods.
Hans mentions the daydream he had, and Father takes it seriously. Hans doesn’t know whether Father is having a bit of a joke at his expense. He doesn’t find it funny, but can’t explain his Father’s behavior any other way, and once again we find father and son failing to communicate.
Last in the chapter is Father’s promise (or threat) that he will take Hans with him into that very Forest on the next day, and begin to teach him the trade of wood-cutting. Hans resists, but Father seems determined.
So our chapter break here is of the ‘what will come of it?’ variety. Can Hans wiggle out of going? Or will Father insist? And if Father does insist, will Hans be able to go into the Schwarzwald, or will his nerve and his feet fail him again?
Looking back, it seems little has taken place this chapter. This raises the question whether Bardelys might not have been better advised to delay his chapter break until later, after some event of greater moment has come. ‘Tomorrow I’ll show you how to cut wood’ seems a very small anticipatory ‘bump’ to justify a chapter break.
(Composed on keyboard Monday 03 November 2008)
